These Little Ones

If there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I love kids. They bring joy to my heart in a way that nothing else can. The love that I have for children is something I feel so strongly that I've based my life around it. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. I want to be an influence in their lives for good, to be able to facilitate their growth and learning. I can't wait for the day when I can love and nurture children of my own. The innocence and spirit of a child is something that I think the world needs more of.

So this morning at work when I pulled up facebook to fill some downtime, I was not prepared for what I would find. What I found was not the normal update I was expecting, about finishing finals or traveling home for the holidays. Instead I read post after post of expressions of sorrow and shock over the tragedy that had occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. As I read various news reports on what had happened, and the gravity of it began to sink in, tears started streaming down my face. My thoughts immediately turned to my little ones at the preschool at which I've taught for the past two years. 

Most of them are kindergarten age now, around the same age as the victims of today's tragedy. I thought of their smiles, their laughter, and their sweet spirits.

 I thought of how quick they are to help and to forgive, their innocence, their purity and the happiness they brought me on a daily basis. 

The past two summers I would go into work looking forward to hearing their excited chatter, seeing how smart and capable they were, and the opportunity to help their already incredible minds grow.

The thought of anyone inflicting intentional harm on even one child brings an overwhelming sadness over me at the wickedness that this world is capable of. I stewed over this at work all day. At first I tried not to think about the horror of the situation, but just could not seem to get it out of my mind. It's as if it had taken grip of my heart, and wouldn't stop squeezing. I thought of my grief and then compared it to what the families of these children and teachers must be feeling, and could not even fathom it. Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, parents and friends, gone just like that. I was so overwhelmed and just did the only thing I felt I could do, which was to pray, and I mean really pray, the pouring out your heart kind. As I prayed for peace and comfort to be upon the victims' families, I was overcome with gratitude for the Savior. It's an odd feeling, to be so incredibly sad but so grateful at the same time. Thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, for the knowledge I have that the children taken from their families today have been reunited with our Father in Heaven and are wrapped up in His loving arms. I hope that when we think about the events of today, that this will be what we focus on. Instead of harboring hate and anger, that we will pray for the families to be comforted and be blessed with a feeling of peace. The path toward hate is an easy one to get caught on, much easier than the one toward forgiveness, because it requires no restraint, no mercy. I felt myself slipping in that direction today. The thought of harm coming to innocent children makes me as angry as I probably will ever get. But as I tried to keep a little prayer in my heart for some peace, I realized that when we get stuck in these emotions we are only harvesting more anger and paving the way for more hatred and destruction in the world around us. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all things will be taken care of in the end, no matter how out of balance they seem now. Our Savior is the only one by whom perfect justice and mercy can be carried out, and through whom the wrongs that have been done can truly be righted.

"And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you" -Doctrine and Covenants 61:36